Coming home/breastfeeding woes

So I wanted to give breastfeeding a whirl for obvious reasons (burning calories, nutrition, and bonding). Oran knew what to do from 15 minutes old when I first fed him in the hospital. That lil sugar-snap latched on and chugged! OMG OUCH!!!! Nevertheless still worth it. I practiced with the lactation nurse on different holds and how to keep him awake to eat. She is super smart about babies and boobies. (I thought that sounded cute) Oran and I were released 12/30/08 around 6pm from the hospital. Mimi drove Oran and I home and had dinner cooked for me and my house was SPOTLESS! (thanks MOM!) So our first night was a ROUGH one. I insisted he sleep in the bed with me since he had to eat every 2 hours, and I love snuggle-time. Well breastfeeding mothers know that the first 3 days you only produce colostrum (not milk), which is basically a liquid laxative. Fun diaper changes. Well that can make a baby super gassy. Well I knew about Mylicon drops but figured I didn't need them like when he was 3 days old! Boy was I wrong. Oran was so gassy that he would NOT breastfeed even though he was hungry and thirsty. He was crying (that sweet lil newborn baa-ing) so much that his mouth was dry as a bone. Nurse instincts kick in...I dip his pacifier in water and let him get a bit that way and try to breastfeed again. Oran continues to REFUSE! Now I really wanted to strictly breastfeed for as long as possible. No such luck. Oran's mucus membranes were dry and that means dehydration which is critical in a newborn. After him not eating for over 4 hours I decide to make a bottle with the formula Brittany so kindly donated to me. (Lifesaver, literally) Oran drank it right down with no problems. So now I get paranoid that he isn't getting what he needs from me, milk-wise. The next morning we head off to the Peds office for a routine well-baby check-up. Well Oran wasn't so "well". He had lost too much weight in only 15 hours. The Dr. told me that we would have to re-admit Oran to the hospital for fluids and food. I begged and asked what I could do to avoid this with a few tears in my eyes. (Being a nurse at St. Mary's I knew that Oran would not go back to the nursery, he would have to go to the Peds floor where all the RSV babies are. RSV is a very contagious respiratory virus that can be life-threatening especially in newborns) I was so scared and upset, my lil lovie was only 3 days old and sooooooo fragile. The MD said that I could go home and force-feed Oran as much formula as I could and to return in 4 hours for a re-check on his weight. Well I did that and he took exactly 4 ounces in 4 hours. Back to the MD's office...(fingers crossed). Oran gained exactly 4 ounces, just enough to keep us out of the hospital that night. (thank goodness he didn't pee at all in that 4 hours otherwise we would have been admitted) We also had to endure 2 heel-sticks on day 3 and 5 of his life for a bilirubin level to monitor his slight jaundice. So I stuck with the breastfeeding because the milk finally came in for a short time. It seemed like Oran was constantly feeding. I would literally feed him for 30 minutes on each "tata" and he would still seem hungry. So here comes the breast pump. UGH! Good- now I know how much he is drinking. Bad- very time consuming, being a single mom it was nearly impossible to pump for a full 30 mins. So my New Year's Eve consisted of pumping my boobs and going to sleep early. (I was able to go to sleep early because Mimi and Pappa were there to help me, THANKS!) Wow now I feel OLD! So I only breastfeed for 1 month, but hey that's better than nothing. Things I will not miss about breast-feeding: leaky boobs, wearing pads in my bra, chapped nipples (yeh u thought chapped lips hurt) and the PAIN. Things that I will miss: losing most of my mommy weight FAST, round-perky vs. flat boobies, the bonding, and did I mention big boobs?! haha